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Partnering for Success
The
course of our life, the things we achieve, the happiness we
feel, are all in some way effected by the people around us. This column includes tips on how to be more
successful and enjoy
life even in the tough times by forging winning
partnerships—partnerships that help you and those around you
prosper.
A
Column by Philippa Courtney
April 2002
Measuring the Return on Your Relationships
Tim Freeman is a veteran of the insurance business who now heads
Efficient Marketing, a company that specializes in training and
coaching companies and individuals to sales success. As the featured
speaker at a recent Chamber of Commerce meeting Tim told the
audience that he personally has a goal of keeping in touch with the
240 people in his database by phone or email every six weeks.
Selling to these people is not his goal. His primary objective is to
maintain friendships and stay in touch. He does this by sharing
useful information and acknowledging special occasions like
birthdays and promotions. Tim does not measure the return on his
efforts by sales made. However his friends and acquaintances have
responded over the years with a steady flow of referrals that have
effectively eliminated Tim's need to make cold calls.
Listening to Tim I felt guilty. Letters to friends and my mother are
always on my to-do list. Who has the time or is that disciplined to
maintain contact with people? Then a more important question came
into my mind. Isn't the amount of effort we put into keeping in
touch with the people in our life in direct proportion to how we see
the return on our investment in those relationships?
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Is the scale you use to measure this value already weighted on one side
with feelings of guilt, obligation, or resentment---"I should
call them, or I better get it over with and call them, or why
don't they ever call me?" For personal and professional
relationships to prosper there has to be a sense of equity.
The scale has to be balanced. Both people need to feel that
they are getting something out of the relationship. And that
they are valued for what they bring to it.
When my husband and I relocated to Oregon, one couple in our
new neighborhood was like a turbo charged Welcome Wagon. They
loaned us tools, brought us starter plants, invited us to
dinner, and gave us rides to the airport. While all this
unsolicited help was appreciated, Robert and I would sit at
home wondering what we should be doing for them that they
hadn't already done for us. One-sided generosity can make you
feel guilty and uncomfortable. |
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The return on investment in our professional
relationships is
not always measured by the traditional metrics of success. |
The coworker who can fix
all your computer problems, tell you who to contact to get
things done, and remembers when it's your birthday may leave
you feeling less than effective. When that same person asks you
to help them with a problem, you suddenly feel like you must be
special if they want your help. Instead of feeling inadequate
you can now feel good about yourself in that relationship.
How you feel about yourself when you around other people is an
important factor in how you measure the return on your
relationships. We all want to do business, be friends, and work
with people that we feel good being around, people who
recognize our value. People want to feel needed. When you go
beyond just keeping in touch and share knowledge and also ask
for advice, the reciprocity of your actions increases the
return on your investment in that relationship. That translates
into more enjoyable personal and professional relationships and
increased sales.
When you call your mother you can help her feel more valued by
asking her opinion about something. Next time you talk to her
let her know how her input helped you. If you have a coworker
who has pictures of his son the softball player all over his
office, ask him if he can recommend places where your child or
a friend's child might practice. Then report back to him about
how his suggestions worked out. When you ask for advice then
give the person feedback you demonstrate your genuine respect
for them.
Look at your personal and professional partnerships and ask
yourself what value you receive from them. Look beyond what you
get from people to how you feel when you are around them. Now,
figure out what value you are adding to the equation. What are
you doing to contribute to their wellbeing? How do they feel
around you? Measure the positive feeling quotient and make sure
your ratio to giving and receiving is in balance and your
return will far exceed your investment.
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